i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
