: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
