A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm passing your future prison.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
