I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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