He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
