you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize