Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
