I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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