I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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