you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
