chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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