Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
false alarm. still invincible.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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