And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
