how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
