You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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