Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
