there's paper in my vomit.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
