Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
