have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
