Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The adults are the big ones right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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