How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
