I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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