Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you would pick up someone in the library
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
