i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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