Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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