I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
