How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
