I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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