you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
