Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

Whats the glycemic index on semen?

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(802): View more from Vermont

he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him

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(310): View more from California

the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(269): View more from Michigan

I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday

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(719): View more from Colorado

Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.

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(406): View more from Montana

Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.

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(207): View more from Maine

I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife

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