Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't see you I see the memories. All the time

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  (269): Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories (269): I don't see you I see the memories. All the time http://tfl.nu/pc8l
  Replies (26) Good night (828) Bad night (1655)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?

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  (785): Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin? http://tfl.nu/3vvd
  Replies (5) Good night (3470) Bad night (700)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.

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  (813): Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age. http://tfl.nu/rqe0
  Replies (26) Good night (1418) Bad night (5522)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.

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  (204): at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess. http://tfl.nu/unws
  Replies (6) Good night (2253) Bad night (1095)
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  (408): View more from California

  You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.

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  (408): You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it. http://tfl.nu/jmvc
  Replies (6) Good night (1223) Bad night (766)
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  (646): View more from New York

  According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.

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  (646): According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth. http://tfl.nu/o8r4
  Replies (9) Good night (571) Bad night (1344)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.

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  (303): You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories. http://tfl.nu/6f6h
  Replies (15) Good night (1726) Bad night (899)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.

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  (334): seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before. http://tfl.nu/yzzl
  Replies (7) Good night (1142) Bad night (950)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?

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  (+44): Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card? http://tfl.nu/fw4l
  Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (355)
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  (+33): View more from France

  If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.

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  (+33): If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/f909
  Replies (6) Good night (2166) Bad night (384)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc

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  (914): Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc http://tfl.nu/veqw
  Replies (0) Good night (404) Bad night (296)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  You sprinted into the side of a parked car

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  (705): You sprinted into the side of a parked car http://tfl.nu/8ptj
  Replies (0) Good night (869) Bad night (305)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.

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  (256): I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany. http://tfl.nu/68i2
  Replies (5) Good night (759) Bad night (260)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that

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  (306): well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that http://tfl.nu/qqt3
  Replies (4) Good night (297) Bad night (650)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.

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  (724): I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents. http://tfl.nu/997k
  Replies (1) Good night (247) Bad night (159)

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