yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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