I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.