so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
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