I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?