Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.

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(989): View more from Michigan

It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list

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(+61): View more from Australia

why is my forehead so bruised?

(1+61): View more from

i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(647): View more from Ontario

Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.

(416): View more from Toronto

I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

successful birthday. 2012 rules

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(850): View more from Florida

I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?

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(303): View more from Colorado

He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.

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(765): View more from Indiana

When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos

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