just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
No subtext here. People are naked.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
