I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.