I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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