i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
