found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
