he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
