Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
pop tarts are not kleenex
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
