i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
