I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
