he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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