Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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