I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
