Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
