i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
