Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
