Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
