I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
