So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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