DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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