I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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