Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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