dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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