I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she smelled like a LAN party
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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