she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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