Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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