If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
