found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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