you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
