Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
