What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
