when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
FUCK WHALES
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