My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
