I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
