I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We had sex on a dog bed..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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