Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
