There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
