Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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