yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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