oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
