the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
