i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
