I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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