OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
